Mrs. Buck is PG (Eggplant)

The 2019-2020 school year brought with it a host of new additions to the WRA faculty, one of the most memorable being Mrs. Suzzane Walker Buck, the new Head of School. Mrs. Buck and her administration headed many new changes to the school, pushing for more options that would hopefully give the students and faculty … Continue reading

Mr. Gerber Raises Tuition by $10,000 to Support Community Minecraft Server (Eggplant)

Last week, Mr. Gerber sent out an email stating that he will raise the tuition of every student by $10,000 to support a new campus-wide Minecraft server. “In keeping with Mrs. Buck’s commitment to joy,” Mr. Gerber said, “the Technology Department would like to provide every student with the opportunity to unwind by playing Minecraft … Continue reading

Students Who Don’t Care – where are they now? (Eggplant)

They were made famous by their announcement at the WRAP (the premiere late-night talk show here at Western Reserve Academy), but where are they now? WRA’s newest club, Students Who Don’t Care, opened with a bang – and a pie to the face of Carter Frato-Sweeney ’22. But it’s been over a month since then, … Continue reading

Top 10 Napping Spots on Campus (Eggplant)

10. MAC concessions. Honestly not the best place to take a nap because of how many people walk past and how loud the MAC usually is, but we work with what we’ve got. 9. Ellsworth dining hall. Also not ideal, but it would be nice if you have the dining hall all to yourself and … Continue reading

Horoscopes (Eggplant)

Aries: Watch out– the MAC will no longer be open before classes. The future looks dark for your gains. Leo: The stars have aligned, your classmates will no longer get mad at you for letting juniors in the senior space. Sagittarius: Bad luck befalls you. You definitely used “get” twice in that Warner essay. Taurus: … Continue reading

The WRAp (Eggplant)

Following the success of the March edition of the WRAp, WRA’s premiere late night talk show, the staff has been searching for a way to follow up. With a May show unlikely due to the coronavirus outbreak, lead Noah Frato-Sweeney `20 has come up with a solution: a one-man show. “It’s literally perfect,” Noah commented. … Continue reading

Skinner Rap (Eggplant)

In the past few school years at Western Reserve Academy, the student body has been put through more music-related trauma than necessary. Without naming names, let’s just say that musicals and music videos have had their fair share of negative light. The students of Reserve dreaded the idea of any more productions. However, this school … Continue reading

Students sleep on the streets as all dorms are closed due to coronavirus threats (Eggplant)

In the weeks leading up to the closing of campus due to the novel coronavirus, the dorms were preemptively closed amid concerns that COVID-19 could spread rapidly in the dormitory environment. As a result, boarders found themselves sleeping on the streets of campus. Mrs. Skinner announced the new policy by saying, “This is designed to … Continue reading

Firealarm Satire (Eggplant)

This year at WRA has been fraught with changes and challenges faced by faculty and students alike. From the new administration to a complete revamping of Seymour to the coronavirus epidemic, life in the WRA community has transformed into an emotional (and physical when observing some students driving through campus) rollercoaster. But discussion over pressing … Continue reading

The Return of Stephen Markley

After author Stephen Markley left campus last month in a cloud of (suspicious smelling) smoke, many wondered if he would ever grace the hallowed halls of Western Reserve Academy, again. Yet, he returned just last week for another visit. This time, he shook up the campus even more. Markley started off his official visit with … Continue reading

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