The Eggplant: To Free or Not to Free?

In the weeks following Top Field Soccer Club’s victory over their long-time rival Cleveland Montessori, the student body has been awaiting the traditional day-off given after a team goes undefeated. While the team had only two games, both against Montessori High School, students have been eagerly awaiting that beautiful morning meeting announcement. One student even … Continue reading

The Eggplant: Community Learns to Love Learning Community

The Learning Community, affectionately known as the “Pods,” has been better received than initially expected! When first told about the treacherous hike up the labyrinthine hill by the Murdough Athletic Center, many a “Oh, gosh darn!” and “Why, God, why?” were heard echoing through the halls of our fair, recently deceased Seymour Hall. Now that … Continue reading

The Eggplant: The Price of Mail

A recent study by the afternoon sport Independent Research showed that checking your student mailbox at school is just like checking your phone for a text. The study revealed that 72% of students check their mailbox every day, and 57% of students check it more than once a day. One member of Independent Research stated, … Continue reading

The Eggplant: Boys Cross Country Overcome Great Hardship

Disclaimer: “The Eggplant” is a satirical, fictional column written by the staff of the Reserve Record. BREAKING – The Boys Cross Country team narrowly wins the Tiffin Invitational meet in the category of “Midwestern Co-Ed Suburban Based College Preparatory Based Boarding School with Enrollment of 350-450.”  Former coach and language faculty member James Fraser is said … Continue reading