Giving Tuesday Gives Back

Disclaimer: “The Eggplant” is a satirical, fictional column written by the staff of the Reserve Record.

November 30th marked Western Reserve Academy’s “Giving Tuesday”. On this day, the school flooded its Instagram account and all mildly affiliated accounts with posts and stories urging the community to donate. In a recent move of innovation, the WRA expanded methods of donating to include Venmo and cryptocurrency.

According to Pritam Garcha ’22 (also known as “P-Diddy” by loved ones), she has been saving up for this very moment. Instead of receiving conventional baby shower presents, Pritam’s mother received stock in Amazon, Berkshire Hathaway and Tesla. In addition, she acquired 20 Bitcoins. This gift is now valued at just under a million dollars.

Now, Pritam has decided to graciously give back to her community. Her donation makes her the largest donor in WRA history, edging out Ellsworth Hall’s very own James W. Ellsworth. In honor of Pritam’s act of generosity, WRA decided to rename “North Hall” as “P-Diddy Hall.”

WRA also accrued a surprising amount of Venmo donations. In this case, though, students seemed to want to capitalize most on the messaging aspect. Since Venmo requires users to write a note to accompany the exchange, students seized the opportunity to communicate their true thoughts. For example, David King ’22 simply put: “Give me a raise.” Unsurprisingly, Michael Filippelli ’22 demanded administrators “bring back the football team” with an impressive bribe of one cent.

With the influx of money thanks to “Giving Tuesday,” one can only ask, ‘What will the school do with it all?’ There is speculation of an entire new stadium for the lacrosse team or the construction of a Pokemon gym per Pritam’s request. At the end of the day, the sky is truly the limit now at WRA.

-Banana Shah

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