Senior Day Students Work To Raise Driving Age

Disclaimer: “The Eggplant” is a satirical, fictional column written by the staff of the Reserve Record.

 Perhaps one of the biggest annoyances that upperclassmen day students, especially seniors, have had to face thus far in the year is the lack of parking at the Murdough Athletic Center. Even those who have been showing up hours earlier than the typical arrival times are having trouble finding a spot that does not require an excrutiatingly lengthy walk to class. “I got here at 5:30 in the morning and still had to park up by the tennis courts,” says Kayla Jiang ’22. 

Teachers may be delighted to find that there are far fewer tardy students as a result, but this effect is damaging to the student body. Western Reserve Academy’s hard-working student body needs all the extra sleep it can get. 

Students have resorted to using any open spaces they can find on campus for parking. In a bold move, Jeffrey Krapf ’23 parked on Brick Row in front of the Seymour Hall entrance. Emily Brackin ’22 took advantage of the open KFAC doors and drove directly onto the stage. Pritam Garcha ’22 even parked in an actual space in the lot behind Wilson (Garcha’s car was immediately ordered to be towed by Mr. Goad, head of security). 

Angered most of all by this parking crisis is the senior class. The convenience of the first row of spaces is supposed to be a privilege that senior day students have been waiting for since they began driving. However, most seniors cannot even locate a single available space by the time they arrive. One part of the problem is WRA’s larger day student population. Another part is non-senior day students occupying senior parking spaces. They believe their offenses will go unnoticed and without consequences. One afternoon, an unnamed junior was spotted by a group of seniors to be retrieving athletic clothing from his car, a car parked in a space among the first of the senior lot. Since then, the junior has reportedly been missing from his classes and activities for the past three days. 

Concerned seniors who are more interested in taking legal actions have turned to their local Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles. With the passage of the school year, there comes an increase in student drivers as sophomores begin turning sixteen and receiving their licenses. Seniors look to curb these further threats to their parking spots by collaborating with the Ohio BMV to raise the driving age to seventeen years old. The higher the driving age, the less non-seniors in senior parking spaces, solving the controversial problem. Although this change would surely cause unforeseen ramifications and shock adolescents all across the state, proponent David King ’22 believes he is fighting for a much larger cause: “Unfulfilled senior privileges anywhere is a threat to senior privileges everywhere.” Amen to that.

– Juicy Olive

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