WRA Thanks Athletic Teams for Herd Immunity Against COVID

WRA Thanks Athletic Teams for Herd Immunity Against COVID

Sword Bagel ’21

Celebratory picture of the LAX team taken in their honor.

In a shocking turn of events, the WRA administration has praised the Reserve sports teams for their exposure to COVID-19, citing that it has created “herd immunity” among students. In a statement made late last Saturday, Mrs. Buck remarked: “COVID-19 has been a constant of our lives at Reserve for the past year, but we have an important update. We are happy to announce that the hard-working athletic organizations at our school have contracted enough cases of the coronavirus to allow our community to reach herd immunity, per the guidelines of the CDC and Ohio health advisors.” The administration went on to say, “As a result of this exciting news, student-athletes are no longer required to wear masks during all in-school activities. We will continually update our students with more good news as these rules take effect.”

The update shook the student body on the night and morning following its release. Students have even begun planning mask-less celebration events, including their flagship tailgate for the next home Lacrosse game next Sunday. The event is said to feature posters and signs celebrating WRA’s new era along with a fully self-serve buffet before the game.

The news is not all good, however, as the administration plans to keep all COVID-19 restrictions for non-athlete students in place well into 2022. In their statement, the administration pointed out that “[w]e still need to be exceedingly careful of non-athletic students. Students know how seriously we take the pandemic, and this is no different.” All eyes are on the administration’s next few weeks of action, with a potential update coming as soon as late April.

Hurray for our athletic teams!

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