Sliding Seniors Petition for Vehicles Just to Move

Sliding Seniors Petition for Vehicles Just to Move

Sylvia Pear ’21
Editor

Carl Zhang ’21 and David Gentile ’21 ride unicycles to class.

After an unpredictable month of college decisions, seniors started committing to their colleges and began their senior slides. Why study so hard when you already have a college waiting for your arrival in September? In fact, some seniors have been partaking in their slide since freshmen year. Incomplete assignments and overdue projects quickly became habitual. Late night green keys without a teacher present—normalized, a staple of Western Reserve Academy culture. These students rapidly became used to discovering shortcuts and cheats so they did not have to commit a horrible sin: putting in effort. Thus, the decline commenced.

Slacking off has always been the formula for senior slides, but this year’s slide is on a whole different level. Students are too tired to even go to class; dormitories are too far away from the academic buildings. Seniors feel robbed of to drop their phones during Morning Meetings since the location changed from the Chapel to the lawn in front of Seymour. Instead of reaping the benefits of senior year co-ed dorm visitation, the twelfth graders found themselves unable to visit any dorms. Without any senior privileges, Morning Meeting has become even more boring. Standing for 30 minutes has been pure torture for increasingly desperate seniors. After careful scheming, several seniors decided to petition for motorized vehicles. They dreamed of free golf carts, each stamped with their own name, and parking spots in the middle of brick row.

But petitioning meant taking time to write a formal request and pleading for approval. Nope, that takes too much time and effort. So the group of seniors decided to ride cars, motorcycles, trucks, unicycles or whatever they have to come to WRA. Two students were even reported chartering private jets. They did not announce the date, so do not be surprised to see random vehicles parked at various locations. Seniors might show up to Morning Meeting with their motorcycles one day. But who knows? This might be the new trend. and when underclassmen become seniors, they might drive the LUX Truck themselves on their way to class.

Perhaps with this last-ditch effort at senioritis, the soon-to-be college freshmen can regain their privileged status and once again reign high above the rest of campus.

To the Class of 2021, happy senior sliding!

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