Seniors Banned From Prom, Only Faculty Allowed to Attend

Seniors Banned From Prom, Only Faculty Allowed to Attend

Mango Marie ’22
Managing Editor

Teachers dressed and ready for the 2021 Faculty Prom.

When Western Reserve Academy’s administration first announced that this year’s prom guest list would only include members of the class of 2021, the school erupted with discontent. Juniors lamented on their missed opportunity, and lonely seniors complained about not being able to share their special night with younger friends. A new notice, revealed via Morning Meeting, surpassed that level of outrage: as of this Friday, the prom is no longer for seniors, but exclusively faculty members. “With students returning from spring break, we felt we had to adjust accordingly,” the faculty head of the prom committee told a reporter. This point makes up just one of the 95 prom precautions outlined for the reason behind this decision. Anticipating fallout from the student body, the administration nailed protective boards to the doors of every academic building. “Look, the faculty has been working really hard this year,” an anonymous teacher told the Record. “I don’t mean to disrespect the senior class, but all my students have been senior sliding since October of last year.” Another source elaborated on their colleague’s comment, saying, “The faculty has been working the hardest; we deserve something for ourselves.” In breaking news, the budget for this year’s prom stands at triple the normal amount, and talk of a surprise performance by Beyoncé has surfaced more than once. All the excess, of course, serves the mental health of the faculty in “a year like no other.” One thing is for sure: no one can wait to find out who this year’s prom king and queen will be. Reported contenders include Mrs. Skinner, Mrs. Boesch, Mr. Warner, Mr. Closen and a security guard known only as “Larry,” a campus favorite. As one student dressed in Larry merchandise put it, “I think we all know who is winning this.”

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