Mr. Gilbert Fails the JWE That He Imposed on WRA

Mr. Gilbert Fails the JWE That He Imposed on WRA

Eggshell Stew ’22
Editor

According to an anonymous source, the most important events of this century all took place during December and coincidentally it is the day of the Junior Writing Exam. This year, in honor of the JWE turning 1000 years old, the English Department collectively decided to join the students and take this exam. This is a day that every teacher in the English Department was looking forward to, and almost all of them were preparing hard for it with the one exception being Mr. Todd Gilbert.

Mr. Gilbert believes that the test is way too easy. He claimed he would do well without studying, so he decided to “just wing it.” He did not discuss the reading with his fellow English teachers, and he did not even read the poem and short story beforehand. He believes that it would be super-duper quick to finish, and he would even have time to take a nap after he finished. Mr. Gilbert finished in a record time of 40 minutes and decided to flex on his colleagues by performing the “Orange Justice” Fortnite dance in front of everyone. However, the result was not as he predicted.

The photo attached to this article describes Mr. Gilbert’s mood after receiving his failing grade on the JWE. From the shock from his facial expression, we can see that he did not do well. Well, that is what you get for winging it. An anonymous source has revealed that Mr. Gilbert would have gotten a better grade if he just submitted a blank piece of paper because he had the worst essay in Western Reserve Academy history. Upon hearing this, other English faculty barged into Mr. Gilbert’s classroom during fifth period and performed the “Wiggle” Fortnite dance in the front of the classroom, shocking both students and teacher alike. Mr. Gilbert is now determined to redeem himself in the next JWE by improving his score from a 0 to an 8.

On the positive side, the crushing humiliation that followed Mr. Gilbert’s poor test grade propelled him to continue working towards his new goal. Hopefully when the next test comes around, he will be more prepared. Though Mr. Gilbert recently suffered a crushing blow to his ego and teaching credentials, we are all rooting for him to repair both with the writing talent we know he possesses deep down.

The Head of WRA English Department, Mr. Todd Gilbert, looking at his JWE test results (he got a 0).

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