“Infection Tag” With COVID Causes Outbreak

“Infection Tag” With COVID Causes Outbreak

Jelly Clown ’21

Keshav Mody ’22, who tested positive for COVID, trying to infect Cameron Griffith ’23.

Many students are shocked that their choice to break into a nursing home to contract COVID-19 and play tag led to their suspension (and immediate quarantine). A few unnamed students decided they would get infected in the nursing home and play a game of tag where students unexpectedly cough on each other throughout the day to spread the virus. The students claimed all they wanted to do was have fun during “these hard times,” while the administration expressed anger that one student went out of their way to infect the oldest teachers at WRA.

“It’s like that old game we used to play as kids,” one student said to describe the game, “where one kid is the sick ‘zombie’ who everyone hides from, and if they get touched they also become a zombie. It’s more fun now because someone is actually sick!” The best part of the game, this reporter was informed, is that nobody knows who the infected people are; one can get coughed on at any moment without realizing it. Apparently, this feature adds to the “apocalyptic realism” of infection tag.

Mrs. Buck delivered an announcement at Morning Meeting warning that students caught playing “COVID tag” would face swift punishments: “If a student is caught coughing at any point during the day, they will have to prove they are not a part of the game or they will face immediate suspension.” One student with seasonal allergies asked what to do when he desperately needed to cough, and confided to this reporter that he was instructed by a teacher to “just hold it in, bucko.”

As of the writing of this article, 33 students have been quarantined in Hobart after testing positive while playing the game. The administration is still trying to catch the remaining students involved in the game. “There could be two students left or two hundred,” Dr. Kent explained, “and we won’t find out until we punish the coughers.”

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