Is an Uncrustables PB&J a Form of Ravioli?

 Is an Uncrustables PB&J a Form of Ravioli?

 Isabella Folio ’22
Managing Editor

 When I learned that I could finally write editorials for the Reserve Record, I felt ecstatic. The ability to write whatever I wanted, no prompt, made my head spin with potential ideas. Of course, I knew then that I would use my position in the most noble of ways: to write about the real issues, the most important problems that impacted our community. After two years of being an editor of some sort, I have been led here, to my most daring journalistic exploit yet: is an Uncrustables peanut butter and jelly sandwich a form of ravioli?

First off, ravioli, as defined by the respectable Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is as follows: pasta in the form of little cases of dough containing a savory filling (as of meat or cheese). This definition logically leads to the definition of pasta: a dish originally from Italy consisting of dough made from durum wheat and water, extruded or stamped into various shapes and typically cooked in boiling water (from the Oxford Dictionary). 

Based on the definition of ravioli alone, one might conclude that, yes — an Uncrustables PB&J is ravioli. They would be wrong. Ravioli is made out of pasta dough, which is made of durum wheat. However, Uncrustables are not made from durum wheat, and therefore are not a pasta of any type. In addition, for the more skeptical readers, peanut butter and jelly make for a more sweet filling, not a savory filling. 

Now that we have addressed and broken down the definition of ravioli, let us talk basic common sense. Have you ever consumed an Uncrustable? It does not taste like ravioli. Ravioli is savory and obviously Italian. Uncrustables, being a product of Smuckers, is one hundred percent American and you can tell from just one bite. It was the novelty childhood snack for half our generation, but ravioli? Ravioli is served for family dinner.

This argument may seem clear as day to some. However, it has been met with the highest controversy. Even after hearing these air tight arguments, Joella Nagy ’22 stubbornly claimed, “[it is ravioli because] the sides are pinched closed, and technically bread and noodles are the same thing because they’re both part of the carbohydrate family, just cooked differently. As for the filing, you can put different things inside of a pasta-type ravioli (cheese, for example) and it’s still a ravioli, so who’s stopping me from putting meat inside of two pieces of sealed bread and eating it.” Ms. Nagy went on to state that Uncrustables are a desert form of ravioli. 

While this writer obviously feels Ms. Nagy’s claims are fallacious, journalism requests that the proper consideration be given. Hoping to find an answer, I scoured the websites and interviews of the candidates for the 2020 presidential election, but was shocked to discover none of the listed candidates had dared address this provocative question. This was rather disappointing. I mean, who would vote for a president who thinks Uncrustables are pasta? 

That said, the debate will just have to go on. Perhaps someone will teach a class on it at some point, or write a thesis paper. In fact, Señora Lopez commented that, as someone who has made both Uncrustables and ravioli before, they are not the same because the process of making them is very different. And this debate isn’t just about Uncrustables? What about mochi ice cream? Pierogies? Pop tarts? Fried food in general? That is the ravioli question.

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