Athelete Spotlight: Roy Bae

Athlete Spotlight: Roy Bae-Sarah Starfruit

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No. It’s Roy Bae. A man of action, a man of character. As a star and captain of WRA’s premier conditioning squad, Roy has shown himself to be worthy of the highest praise. His constant enthusiasm for WRA athletics and the sports requirement alike is abundant.

Earlier this month, I had the unique opportunity to talk to Roy about his athletic expertise. “I always do what I can to avoid playing team sports at Reserve,” he said. “The sports requirement doesn’t ALWAYS apply… if you can demonstrate your positive contributions to the conditioning community, there are ways to make it work. In my years as a student here, I’ve done exactly negative two seasons of team sports.”

I reached out to the legendary Mr. Herb Haller himself to ask why Roy has been all but excused from the team sports requirement, and why some other venerable conditioners (Colin J North) are now being forced to comply. “I have no comment at this time,” he replied. Well, readers, I guess you will just have to draw your own conclusions on this one.

So how does Roy feel he contributes to conditioning – “I’ve been building an algorithm that helps fellow conditioners maximize achieving big potential,” he said. “It’s very simple – it works by electronic injections of substances created in our own Wilson Hall.” What are these substances? “That information is proprietary aka classified… and do not go ask Mr. Bonomo, I promise he was not involved.” Are the substances approved in the WRA student handbook? “We cannot answer this question at this time.”

Well readers, that’s all for today’s spotlight… make sure to pick up our next issue to get the firsthand scoop from TWO more WRA athletics stars – Mr. Colin North and Princeton-bound Noah Luch.

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