The WRAP Becomes a One-Man Show

The WRAP Becomes a One-Man Show-Crystal Coconut

Following the success of the March edition of the WRAp, Western Reserve Academy’s premiere late night talk show, the staff has been searching for a way to follow up. With a May show unlikely due to the coronavirus outbreak, lead Noah Frato-Sweeney `20 has come up with a solution: a one-man show.

“It’s literally perfect,” Noah commented. “I have Ellie to write my material and Carter to film. Plus, this mug on everyone’s computer! Captive audience, baby.” When asked if he would be utilizing his siblings in this special feature, Noah responded with a simple no, and glared at this reporter as if she was incompetent. I guess we will be missing out on some violent beatings of Carter this time around.

Although Noah largely took the spotlight in past editions of the WRAp, he is excited to take it one step further. “I’m the special sauce of this show. The honey mustard if you will. Wait, is honey mustard still funny?” Past collaborators Henry Ong `20 and Noah Luch `20 seemed to agree on this point. “He doesn’t need us anymore to make jokes about how attractive he is, how funny he is, or the fact that he’s a twin. He’s a big boy now,” Luch noted. “We trust him to carry the show.” Ong agreed.

What resulted was a fifteen-minute spectacle straight out of Noah’s brain. Most were shocked and surprised when the WRAp tumbled into a conspiracy segment about the coronavirus. “They put it in the shark. I know it. We are all carriers,” Noah hissed in a frantic whisper. When asked about his actions later, Noah started screaming about “First Amendment rights” and “using his platform as he pleases”. He also made sure to inform us that he has been having conversations with InfoWars in order to become a correspondent. What great success Pioneers achieve!

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