Horoscopes

Horoscopes-Crystal Coconut

Aries: Watch out– the MAC will no longer be open before classes. The future looks dark for your gains.

Leo: The stars have aligned, your classmates will no longer get mad at you for letting juniors in the senior space.

Sagittarius: Bad luck befalls you. You definitely used “get” twice in that Warner essay.

Taurus: Stay alert, remember to pull down your skirt before entering the Dean’s Office. The future looks promising if you do so.

Virgo: You will wear a hoodie on a Reserve Green day and get away with it. Fortune favors the bold.

Capricorn: If you keep making citizen’s arrests on Virgo’s dress code, the deans will hire you. Congrats?

Gemini: You’re definitely still going out and partying because it’s #coronacation. Fates say to delete those posts on the beach before you get really embarrassed in about a month.

Libra: Just Sparknote The Great Gatsby. You really don’t have anything to lose anyway.

Aquarius: You are the glue of your friend group. The strength you exhibit in starting a new lunch table is admirable, to say the least.

Scorpio: You may think teachers don’t realize you’re sleeping class, but they do. Proceed with caution.

Cancer: Karma will bless you for being the brave soul to ask the teacher to leave early for Mac-N-Cheeseology.

Pisces: Stop trying to laser cut styrofoam.

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