The Health Center Experiences an Influx of Students Avoiding Sports

The Health Center Experiences an Influx of Students Avoiding Sports-Sasha Starfruit

A wise person once told me a truth: there are two kinds of people in this world, on this campus. There are those who enjoy sports, and those who hate them. The sports requirement at WRA is aimed toward those who fit within the first category. Those are the students that can be seen attending optional practices, a true show of dedication (or self loathing) and look forward to the end of the day. Of course, though the school is filled with well-rounded students, some participants fall into that second category. Some ask, why must those who find no purpose in sports dedicate precious studying time to it? Why aren’t they allowed to do three seasons of afternoon music or Esports if they’re passionate about those things? Or, in some cases, why isn’t the blood they’ve shed enough?

Regardless of the answer (because one has never been provided), the athletic office still hunts down students who try to shirk their recreational duties and forces them into service, very much like a military draft. This led, of course, to the latest great exodus in history. Now students of all grades and walks of life can be seen trudging off to the Health Center before sports practice bedeviled with all sorts of injuries and ailments. Some of them are legitimate, but most are just students trying to escape death via athletics. In fact, the Health Center has become so backed up that students often need to arrive during frees to claim spots.

To ensure spots on the injured list, students have even been giving themselves actual injuries on purpose. One student told our publication, “I was so desperate to escape that I paid my teammate a hundred dollars to “accidentally” drop a weight on my foot. And when that didn’t work, I hurled myself down the stairs.” It was difficult to interview other injured students as many of them were encased in full body casts. No word on how the Health Center plans to handle this yet.

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