Students Take New Precautions amid Fire Alarm Concerns

Students Take New Precautions amid Fire Alarm Concerns-Sasha Starfruit

This year at WRA has been fraught with changes and challenges faced by faculty and students alike. From the new administration to a complete revamping of Seymour to the coronavirus epidemic, life in the WRA community has transformed into an emotional (and physical when observing some students driving through campus) rollercoaster. But the discussion over pressing issues such as COVID-19 and what staff members may or may not be here next year has overshadowed a looming threat facing our people: the fire alarm saga!

Students in at-risk dorms such as Ellsworth and Woodhouse have been dogged by this adversary of sleep and relaxation. While the alarms can occur during the academic day, most offenses happen at night or in the early hours of the morning. Some residents are downright terrified, and the Health Center’s counseling staff have seen a sharp increase in patients related to post-fire alarm distress. As one student put it, “Even small sounds at night scare me now… if I hear anything that sounds like an alarm, I instantly panic.”

However, the campus need not fear! The ever-resourceful students of WRA are working to develop innovative solutions for surviving false alarms. Residents of frequently disturbed dorms have taken to preemptively sleeping outside in designated “safe” areas. They claim it enables them to not only maintain a healthy sleep schedule but also live a more eco-friendly lifestyle. One of the largest movements is Sectatores Ignis, an organization that claims to revere the “gods of the Almighty Fire Alarm.” They hold weekly meetings on top of the cross country hill during which they sacrifice the heretics who slept through the previous alarms. When asked to comment, their members offered to give the writer of this article her very own fire alarm set to go off every time a soul is saved by the Almighty Fire Alarm, which is apparently every night.

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