The Skinny on Skim Milk

I am just going to go out and say it. Skim milk rocks. Skim milk contains all of whole milk’s scrumptious nutrients without all the disgusting fat. Have you ever tasted milk fat? Because I have, and I can say without a doubt that milk fat is one of the grossest things I have ever had in my life. Also! With skim milk, you receive all of those necessary vitamins with half the calories. Yum! Plus, it tastes better! In addition, full-fat 2% milk contains outrageous amounts of saturated fats, which are known to contribute significantly to the risk of developing cardiovascular disease. Skim milk provides 8.3 grams of protein per cup, which we all know is incredibly vital for keeping our bodies up and running! Proteins are used by our bodies to repair tissues and give us long-term energy. We need these proteins, but there is no added benefit to the protein in 2% milk over that contained within delicious skim milk. Instead of taking protein powder, you can just have skim milk! Several studies show that skim milk can reduce the risk of osteoporosis and type II diabetes. It can also delay menopause and lower high-blood pressure.

I encourage you to think of your health when choosing your milk. When those classic ads depicting our favorite celebrities enter your field of view asking a simple question: “Got Milk?”, you can proudly stand up and say “Yes! Not only do I have milk, but I have skim milk, which lowers my risk for many diseases!” Cardiovascular disease is known as the “silent killer” for a reason. It is the number one cause of death in multiple countries, including the United States of America. Just look at our population. It is no secret that in a world filled with fast-food chains like McDonald’s, we need to cut down on fat in any way possible (and no I am not trying to fat shame 2% milk, but sue me for trying to promote healthy living habits). Think of it as a substitute, if you have more skim milk instead of 2% milk, you can use the saved fat to smash another Big Mac! In addition to the very real and present diseases that skim milk can protect you from, there is another pressing concern that you may be safe from by making the switch from 2% to skim. In the likely event of a zombie apocalypse, the fragrant aroma of the lipid-rich 2% milk might draw the zombies right to you! However, if you have only ingested skim milk, you will be virtually invisible to those evil brain-eaters!

Think about this situation: you just shoved an unimaginable twenty-five flaming-hot cheetos down your esophagus, and you must consume either option 1, a drink with fat to push down a fat-filled snack. Or option 2, a fat-free drink that is both refreshing and savory and still be able to feel better about your body (#IamEnough) and choice to eat so many cheetos at once! Though you all may be mocking me for such an outlandish example, this was the case for one Diego Leanos, commonly referred to as “Lil Xan.” Diego was recently hospitalized for eating too many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos to the point where he had to get his stomach pumped. Though most doctors found the Cheetos to be the culprit that caused Lil Xan’s lil dilemma, however, his fatal mistake was actually choosing to drink 2% instead of skim milk after consuming the Cheetos. Basically, when eating Cheetos, do not risk it, and choose the healthier and safer option to drink it with: skim milk.

An argument might be made that the extra fat is “part of the milk experience.” To this I say: “Says who?” Who says you cannot make your own milk experience? Why are you expected to follow the expectations of others? It is like being ostracized over whether you pour your milk or cereal first. In the skim milk community, all forms of milk love are acceptable and cherished. Be a part of a kinder community. Will you allow yourself to blindly follow the path set out before you without questioning why you are heading there? Will you allow yourself to subscribe to flimsy societal ideals? I challenge you to be rebellious! Follow you own path! Are you a sheep being led to slaughter, or are you the lion, eagerly chasing its own meal? In this life, you have choices. Life or death, fight or flight, kiss or diss, and skim or 2%? You are a summation of all your choices, so choose the right ones. Choose skim. Forge your own milk experience with the right companion accompanying you on the path.

– Jennifer Blossom ’19

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