2% is 200% Better

I think that most WRA students can agree on one thing: we all look forward to a bowl of Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, or if you’re boring, Raisin Bran, at the end of a long school day. There’s nothing quite like plopping down in the dining hall and digging in to a crunchy yet cool snack to boost your blood sugar levels. However, we are all faced with an important choice: which type of milk to use? It all comes down to which lever you pull –– 2%, or skim milk? If you like to drink what looks like dirty water, go ahead, get some skim milk. If you’re a sane person who values flavor, please get yourself some sweet, sweet 2%.

Like most people, my relationship with milk began at a young age. Consider your childhood, and how milk was integral to your upbringing. Almost all of us had it practically shoved down our throats by our parents, so to get another outlook on this issue, I turned to the people who raised me to have these views. After my parents concernedly asked me why I wanted to know about milk so badly, my father said he “has no emotional connection to the percentage of milk fat in [his] milk” and that he had “lost [me] completely.” My mother, on the other hand, feels strongly about the advantages of 2% milk. She commented that 2% is the best for growing children, something about strong bones, and it being objectively the most nutritious. If you say that a mother is incorrect, you are a heathen. Mother knows best.

I have a simple argument: skim milk is basically water. It’s thin, clear, and devoid of flavor, effectively destroying any pleasure that comes with eating a bowl of cereal. Consider the humble Cinnamon Toast Crunch: when you pull that glorious plastic lever and serve yourself a heaping pile of crazy squares, you want to make sure you get every single morsel of goodness. Every sugar crystal, every speck of cinnamon. When you douse this heavenly creation in skim milk, it washes the cereal clean and all of the flavor floats to the bottom. When 2% milk is employed instead, the goodness floats throughout the bowl, carried by the extra fat in the milk, making each layer coated in deliciousness. Every spoonful is an explosion of sweet and spicy. Frankly, it’s a clear choice. Do you want bland grain cereal or the cinnamon sugar you were promised?

Some may argue to the health benefits of skim milk, but this is America. Skim milk clocks in at around 123 calories per glass, while 2% is just 146 calories. Do you really want to sacrifice flavor and sustenance for a measly twenty less calories? It’s simply not worth it to put your taste buds through the ringer. Allow yourself an enjoyable meal without counting calories. Allow yourself to increase your flavor intake. We all die anyways. Enjoy the extra milk fat.

Let’s not fail to consider that 2% milk is much more popular than skim milk in our culture today. In an unofficial poll I took on my Instagram (@chloezelch, shameless plug), over two-thirds of poll-takers chose 2% over skim. The dining hall always runs out of 2% milk first. The people have spoken, and in this case, more popular does mean better. Do you think that they achieved the glorious milk mustaches of the “Got Milk” campaign with the thin consistency of skim milk? Just look at Billy Ray Cyrus’ poster and tell me it was (seriously, look it up.) Absolutely not. 2% milk is a pillar of modern society and a pantheon of pop culture. Skim milk who? I don’t know her.

I’m sure most people at Reserve are also concerned about treating animals fairly. Think about a simple dairy cow. They dedicate their lives to producing milk for us humans to drink. Would they want all their hard work to go to waste, for all the nutrients and fats they pack in to be scooped out and discarded? Think about your cows and their feelings. It’s only right that you should appreciate them by enjoying their life’s work in its full glory, a little extra fat and all.

If this article can do anything for you, I urge you to choose 2% milk over skim. At least try it once. We all eat cereal often enough because, well, sit down, so take life by the horns and live a little. Allow 2% milk into your life, and thank me for it later.

– Chloe Zelch ’20

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  • The Reserve Record
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    Hudson, OH 44236